It used to be that integration was the goal in people who are multiple or fragmented. That isn't the case anymore. Some people who are multiple are anxious to integrate as their lives are chaotic and disruptive. Some multiples are afraid of it. Other's (like ourself) choose not to become a singleton. It really is the decision only you should make. We were "integrated" at one time by a therapist who pressured us into it. Guess what? It didn't stick. If all do not agree it may not work. After that experience we chose to never attempt it again. Besides, integration is like cutting off an arm or a leg voluntarily. We are who we are and want to stay this way. That's not to say we live our lives separately! We have to become co-consious of one another and set boundaries. This is our goal. It's not always easy but we feel happier now than we did during the integration process.Question: What is integration? Does it mean that the rest of us have to die to leave the host? Who decides who "the host" would be? What if the person that's out the most is male but the body is female? Wouldn't he be the prominent personality that would survive? We don't see how it could work.
We've been told that it's more like merging and somehow we'll all be part of the host but that makes no sense to us. Some of us are young, old, male, female; we all have unique feelings, desires, motivations and so forth. There's no way that we could become one and continue to process all of our individuality. Answer: There really is no answer. To us, it would seem, if one was integrated then the host would carry all aspects of the integrated personalities. But the questions can run deep! Who decides who is going to be the 1 person?!
When I (host) first found out that I (host) had multiple personalities, the idea of integration was very favorable to me, because I was so freaked out by the concept of having all these people living inside of me. But the others did not share this interest of integration. We question whether many multiples really like the idea of integration. At least not the alters. To our alters it can seem like death. Our alters were created to help us to survive! How then, can we ask them to not fight for us on this issue? This is the only way of life we've ever known. Understandably, it makes sense why the host may want to integrate as they may have been unaware to the fact they were more than one. the host may favor integration simply because of the desire to be a "normal" person.
If the host is requesting integration but some or all of the alters do not wish to be integrated who gets to decide if the integration should happen? The only way integration is going to work is if ALL people agree. We've been through this! If you can learn to communicate with each other you will find that you can live co-consiously with one another and have a fairly calm life. That's not to say that there won't be days when things get chaotic inside; it will. But communication is the KEY to co-consiousness! We allow each other time to spend outside as long as I (host) am available to be there, too.
If you should decide to pursue integration we urge you to proceed with caution. DO NOT let any therapist push you or any of your alters into it is not what you want to do! Care must be taken to distinguish the host personality from inner personalities lest the wrong person becomes integrated. Also, the alters need to understand that it may seem like death but it has been explained that it is actually a merging of many into one. If you do not desire to become a singleton ask your therapist ways to learn co-consiousness.
Whatever you do decide PLEASE make sure you have a qualified therapist or doctor with EXPERIENCE with MPD help you through the process.