i am a child who hurts so bad
im tired of always feeling so sad
why do they hurt me and say i love you
i know in my mind it is not true
i am nothing but a limp ragdoll who does not cry
i want to so badly. i just want to die
the new people in my life say god loves me
and because of that i am totally free
i want to beleive them and feel safe in his arms
but i cannot let go of the pasts ugly harms
so for now i remain a child in constant fear
praying for the end to please be near
i should have told that day grandma asked me. why didnt i? i was too chicken! because of me everyone had to suffer for lots of years of more abuse and stuff. i hate myself and i wish i was never created. i clench my fists because im scared but also because im angry at myself. im so stupid.